Interview with Tsutsui Ayame - BRODY August 2021 Nogizaka46 Special : The Reason I am Standing on the Stage

(original article : BRODY magazine, August 2021. Nogizaka46 Special : The Reason I am Standing on the Stage)

Q : Question / Interviewer

A : Ayame's Response

Q : Tsutsui-san, before joining Nogizaka46 do you have any interest in the acting field, such as stage plays for example?

A : Yes, but just as a viewer. I do like to watch dramas or movies, but have never thought about wanting to become an actress.

Q : So after joining Nogizaka46, the "3 Nin no Principal" (Apr 2019) was the first time for you to be involved directly in acting?

A : Yes. Back during "Principal", it was already tough just to remember the dialog. I still managed to remember the lines before sleeping after going back home after the rehearsals, but even so I still couldn't perform it perfectly in the next morning. I remember having a hard time to memorize the lines.

Q : How did you work on to remember the lines?

A : I just kept reading it all the time.

Q : So you just repeatedly reading in order to memorize them. Back then, did you ask for any advice from either the director or the staffs?

A : I did. We were all first-timers, so we kept asking the director or his assistants about things that we don't understand. We just tried to work together as much as we could to get ready for the show.

Q : Surely the atmosphere during the actual performances were completely different with the rehearsals, since the audiences were there. After it began with the first day of the show, was there any changes in your feelings?

A : At that time, I felt happy, more than anything. I was happy to see the audiences came to watch us. Of course I was also nervous, but having the audiences there, for some reason instead of feeling restrained, I felt lively instead.

Q : Oh, so that how it was. In case for "Principal", it was quite a peculiar system where should you are not chosen for the 1st act (segment where the members try to appeal to the audiences so that they will vote for them), you cannot perform for the 2nd act either (the actual stage play). How did you managed to keep being motivated back then?

A : I didn't get selected for the first two stages, so I was quite dejected. But after that, I didn't feel gloomy that much. Because the show continued to be held on every subsequent days, I instead took my time to think about "What to do tomorrow?" (in case I was not selected).

Q : I see. If so, how did it felt when you came out to perform during the 2nd act? Did acting feel fun?

A : Yes. Back then, I managed to remember all the lines perfectly, so there was nothing to worry about it at all. I was just excited because finally I got to perform on the 2nd act.

Q : Oh, true. I recall that during "Principal" Tsutsui-san had no issues like skipping out some of the dialogs or other troubles like that.

A : Yes, yes. There were no such troubles.

Q : Speaking about the peculiar stage play setting aside, having experienced performing as someone else on the stage, did you ever think about wanting to do more in acting?

A : Ever since I joined Nogizaka46, I have started to think to work in the acting field, but I didn't think about acting for a stage play. That's why, I was really surprised when I heard that I was asked to perform in one.

Q : The stage play "Megashira wo Osaeta" that will begin from Jun 4th, right? Differing from your experience so far with "Principal", and from acting for video footages in general, Tsutsui-san is taking the main role for this stage play. That means, you're going to appear a lot from the beginning to the end, and the amount of dialog you need to remember is not even comparable to what you had before.

A : That is exactly why at the start I was like 90% getting worried all the time. Within a month before the rehearsals begin, I couldn't help but to feel anxious. No matter what I was doing, somewhere in my head the thoughts about stage play just won't go away.

Q : How was it like to memorize the script this time?

A : This time I didn't feel to much troubled about it. Compared to the time we did "Principal" without any prior experience, this time it felt totally okay.

Q : Perhaps it is partly due to the harsher experience you had before. Before the rehearsals, I believe there should be introduction between the cast members. Is there something that left quite an impression?

A : I am not sure whether everyone were shy or what, but at the start there was just this awkard silence and I was like "Am I going to be okay?". But after several weeks have passed, we were getting along better and now it's noisy all the time in between the rehearsals.

Q : What made you guys getting along better?

A : On the first day of the rehearsals, I braced myself to consult with Hashizume (Iyuri)-san who played the role of my home tutor. "I'm worried," I said, and then she replied to me earnestly. From then on, I managed to talk a lot more with Hashizume-san and gradually able to blend in and talk with the others as well.

Q : I see. Surely, this is the first time for you be apart from the group and examine closely how other actors perform. I guess it felt really different compared to when you are doing the group activities?

A : Yes, it is totally different (www). I found out a lot of new things, like "Oh, you can actually express that line in that way". During the first script reading process, we all shared our opinions in order to build the atmosphere for each scene. That time, a lot of opinions I never thought about kept coming and coming, so I was quite overwhelmed with all of it.

Q : So having received quite a shock like that, do you feel more motivated to do better, or perhaps it actually make you panic?

A : Eeeh... both of them (www)! All of the co-stars are really amazing that I couldn't help but thinking "Is it really okay for me to take part in this?". But I want to properly finish what I have started, so I went back home bringing all of the feedbacks in my head and then thought about what should I do in order to prepare for the rehearsal on the next day.

Q : So, is the idea about the role gradually changing from what you originally had in mind after receiving feedbacks from your surroundings?

A : Yes. Even though I have depicted how a particular scene should be, the other actors may have their own take on it, which can be very different with what I have in mind. I will then try to approach it from their perspectives as well. There are a lot of instances where the scene became totally different with what I had imagined.

Q : Do you find having a depiction of a scene changing over time to be exciting?

A : Yes. In particular, after several weeks have passed, I was able to enjoy it more.

Q : Did you ever had such kind of sensation during "Principal" before?

A : No. Back then, I was just memorizing the lines and didn't think about how to dig deeper about conveying emotions. This is the first time for me realize that there are a lot to explore within someone's emotion. It got me like...... "Wow!" (www)

Q : So it was quite a fresh sensation for you. I believe when you are on the stage you might need to do quite an exaggerated moves in order to convey the moment to the audiences. Is there something you can talk about that?

A : Jitsunashi Satoru-san, the director said "This is a story about an everyday life of a simple family, so it's better not to exaggerate too much." That's why for the most part I just tried to be as natural as possible.

Q : What about your vocalization?

A : Aa, about the vocal... (bitter smile). My voice is not loud in the first place, so I often told to increase my volume more during the rehearsals. But compared to the beginning of the rehearsals, it did get a bit louder...... (www). Also, I've always made sure to practice the intonation and pronunciation properly before going to the rehearsals.

Q : I see, so it is also gradually changing as the performances go on. Within the co-stars this time around, whose acting was particularly outstanding in your opinion?

A : Every one is great, but Yamanaka (Takashi)-san who played the role as a father is amazing. There are several scenes where my character and her father are together, but on each rehearsals he always add up something different. Yamanaka-san's acting changed the way I recite the lines and my emotions. In such moments, it felt like I'm really immersed into the role that I play, so I am always looking forward to it.

Q : That's one of the interesting part about stage play, right? Such as, finding out a part where you can actually act more freely, the more you are getting used to it. Tsutsui-san do you think you can do that too within this one month?

A : I wonder if I can (www). I'm not sure. Perhaps if the others are doing that too, I might be able to do it as well (www).

Q : Surely, it will show how much growth you have when you managed do to it naturally. With all the experience within this one month, I wonder what kind of growth we will see in Tsutsui-san after coming back to the group.

A : I was really anxious before the rehearsals began, such that I felt like crying whenever I'm alone at home. But now, I am able to enjoy the process, and for me personally it is quite a development. After finishing the 2 months period of both the rehearsals and the shows, I am certain that there will be changes in me. If anything, I wish to change!

Q : At the time of this interview, there are only several days left for the shows. Frankly speaking, how are you feeling?

A : I didn't fully realize that there are only few days left before the shows. But lately, I haven't got the chance to stand in front of the audiences, so I believe I will be getting quite nervous having audiences there. Hence, I'm a bit scared.

Q : So if things didn't go as planned, the last time it happened (to have live audience) would be in February last year, back during the "8th Year Birthday Live", right?

A : Yes. That's why, since I believe there are a lot of people who are looking forward to this stage play, I want to give my best everyday.

Q : Perhaps it is going to feel quite sad as the last day of the performance getting closer.

A : More like, I'm already feeling sad now (www). Thinking that it will be ending soon really makes me feel sad.

Q : I see (www). Compared to before the rehearsal period, can you say "I am performing in a stage play" with proud now?

A : Well....... Compared to the start of this process, I believe it is starting to take a shape. So what's left is to put everything I have prepared all this time during the shows.

Q : Well then, frankly speaking, do you enjoy performing for a stage play?

A : Yes! Ufufuu.

Q : Do you want to do it more in the future?

A : (Sink into silence...)

Q : (laughs)

A : It will be greats if I can, but it is quite scary to think about the anxiety before actually doing. But I hope I can continue to work in the acting field from now on.

Q : By the way, did you ever come to watch other member's or your senior's stage play performances?

A : Yes. The first time I went to watch a stage play in my life was last year, for the stage play of Inoue Sayuri-san, my senior who have graduated. It was so amusing and for the first time I realize "Stage plays are actually this exciting!".

Q : I believe should Tsutsui-san perform well in "Megashira wo Osaeta", the other 4th-gen members or even your upcoming juniors will have the same feeling as well.

A : Ehehee. It will be great if they do. I'll give my best to make such a performance.