Interview with Ikuta Erika - BRODY August 2021 Nogizaka46 Special : The Reason I am Standing on the Stage

(original article : BRODY magazine, August 2021. Nogizaka46 Special : The Reason I am Standing on the Stage)

Q : Question / Interviewer

I : Ikuta's Response

Q : From 2012 to 2014, the 1st-gens had experienced "16-Nin no Principal" stage play 3 times. While I believe there must be something special about them compared to other stage plays you did after that, how did Ikuta-san get prepared for "Principal" back then?

I : I was pretty reckless. The system was pretty arduous, don't you think? Results wise, I'm thankful that I got to be chosen (for the play) lots of times. However, on the very first "Principal" we must keep on showing up new ideas everytime we did the self-introduction, or else people with get bored seeing us doing the same thing over and over. Even if I want to do only a particular role, I need to think up how to assure the audience or instead they might think "not this girl again...". I need to show what interesting things I can bring out with that role. Doing all those were pretty tough. I might won't be able to do those now (bitter laugh).

I really love stage plays, but "Principal" was real tough to the point that I might have lost that feeling. Actually, I heard that there are members who are having bad impression about stage plays because they only experienced it through "Principal", so it would be nice if there are upcoming opportunities to let those members perform in other stage plays with different format so that they can think, "Ah, it was fun!".

Q : Well then, let's move to the topic of Ikuta-san's individual activities with stage plays. I think the first one you did was "Niji no PRELUDE" (Oct 2014), right?

I : That time I really had no idea what to do, but thinking back about it now, I really got a lot of guidance from the others. For sure there were a lot of difficult stuffs, but that was probably the peak where I can genuinely enjoy standing on the stage and think "It's really fun!". Of course even now it is still fun to do, but the more I perform, and with the amount of plays piling up over time, I got to realize things that I am still lacking or become aware to challenge myself more. That's why back then, because I didn't have such thoughts in mind, instead about feeling the pressure or getting worried about stuff I simply felt that I was just running along and "pushing it onward!", while keeping up with the others.

Q : So after that experience, how would you resolve the challenges that you are facing?

I : For example, depending on the role I would change my vocalization. Say if I am acting as a girl who isn't having a blissful life, no matter how much feelings I put into it, nothing will be expressed about the character if I just simply singing with a beautiful voice. In a stage play, embodiment of the character including the tone of the voice are the most prominent expression, so I must research what kind of voice I should use depending on the role I'm taking. Doing so also widened my vocal range. I can feel it whenever I compare it to my original voice back then.

Q : There are some stage plays that you did for a short period of time, but there are also those that you are doing for a long period of time, such as "Les Miserables". While I'm sure that you are immersing those roles through your acting, how do you manage to switch and balance out between becoming those roles and being yourself in your daily life?

I : I do try to separate them out, but often times I'm told that the role affected my personality (www). They said that it was pretty obvious that I am exhibiting the traits of the said character. For example, when I was acting as Miharutaki (Sakura) for the drama "Kakegurui TWIN", no matter what pictures we take, I was always glaring at the camera, or that my stare was quite powerful during music shows. On the other hand, when I was doing a role of a ballerina, they say my posture is like someone who's doing a ballet dance all the time.

Speaking about "Les Misarebles"...... I do slightly realized it myself that I become somewhat more persistent just like Éponine (www). That doesn't mean I am getting possesed by the character, though. It's more like a part of the preparation, trying to understand the personality of each of those roles. I think by doing so, I just simply discovered more things within me and the more I try to understand them, they all just mingled together with my current self.

Q : So is there something like another personality within yourself that you are not aware of?

I : I believe so. Even for people who are not in the world of acting, I believe there are many things that they have yet to discover within themselves. That's why, even for a role that felt very different from my personality, I won't say that I'm not such kind of a person.

Q : So the chance of actually being one is not necessarily zero, right?

I : Yes, I believe so.

Q : It seems the process to find something that might exist within yourself is pretty interesting. I believe there are people who ended up not realizing it at all in their entire life, so on the contrary it might be fortunate if you actually can find one.

I : Right. I keep on finding out "Oh, there was actually this part of me!" while doing those actings.

Q : By the way, last year on the other interview, there was this talk about you having nightmares during the rehearsal period prior to the actual performance which left quite an impression.

I : Aa, right, that happened. Actually this time around, I'm having nightmares as well. It was during the rehearsals for "Les Miserables". In my dream, I was on the stage in front of the audiences, and for some reason I was wearing Cosette's costume while performing as Eponine (www). There, when I was on the wings (each side of a stage, in which you can't be seen by the audience), waiting to come out, I was saying "Oh, what should I do?? This is the wrong costume!?", but the staffs kept on replying "There's no helping it. This is all we have today." Also, I had lots of dreams of running around from someone who keeps on chasing me.

Q : Maybe it's like you are actually feeling the pressure somewhere inside you.

I : Actually, in order to not hindering my progress, I tried my best not to feel the pressure, but seems like those dreams showed my actual feelings (www). Just yesterday I had one as well, the one I saw most often in which I got my teeth pulled out. I wonder what that means...?

Q : People say that having nightmares is a sign of stress, or when there are a big change going on in your life...

I : Oh, is that so? It was clearly always about having my teeth pulled out. Moreover, there was always the part where I made a reservation through phone with the dentist I regularly visited (www). However, it's true that I always saw it around the time where I felt anxious.

Q : Seems like you are trying to hold back the feeling of being pressured.

I : I am the type who cannot let it loose once I am stuck with something. I know that no matter what others would tell me won't do anything good once I'm fallen to that zone. By doing so (holding back the thoughts of being pressured), I'm trying to avoid that from happening. But even by doing so, the thoughts are still showing up subconsciously.

Q : Say you realized that you're about to get stuck, is there some kind of preventive measure you will do?

I : Perhaps before falling into that zone, I usually try to get spoiled or depend more on others. Honestly, I don't know what to do even until now should I am getting into such situation, but those things somehow have prevented me from the worst thus far.

Q : I see. Especially, within this 1 year, Ikuta-san's "Whistle Down the Wind ~Yogorenaki Hitomi~" (Mar 2020) was cancelled midway. I believe the theatrical world in general got quite a blow as well. Looking back through it all again from sping 2020, how was this 1-year like to you?

I : Normally, I would say "It was like this" or "It went in a flash", but honestly now I don't even know how to express this year was. I have yet to calmly think looking back through it. It would take some more years or decades to pass before I can look back and embrace this particular year, so now what I can do is just keep on moving forward. I believe if I am to say anything about it now, I will be stuck in that particular mindset or missed out a lot of other things. It would take time for me to properly look into things (we are facing now).

Q : I see...

I : This is something I felt within this year, but..... once again I realized how theather is something really necessary for me in this life. I believe there are many things in our life that we let to die out or put away from ourselves without knowing its essence. Perhaps even with doing so we can continue on living, but then gradually we will question "For what purpose I am living now?" or "For what purpose I am giving such an effort?" That is where the theater...... well, I guess everyone has their own opinion about it, but to me it is showing something about it in one way or another.

It might give such an impact to those who are watching it, growing something out of them which might have stayed dormant all these time and becoming a strength to live on. As someone who got the chance to experience that first hand through my activities in the theaterical world, I feel that it is something that I can say and convey with confidence.

Q : Musics, Theaters, and many other forms of entertainment are deemed as "Non-essential, and non-urgent" within this 1 year, but you feel that they are necessary to enrich your own self, right?

I : Yes. Apparently, that was also the original cause to the development of theatrical world. In the past, through the opera people expressed the existence of God. With the similar thoughts, through the stage plays people got to learn about things. I feel that now we are going back to those roots.

Q : As someone who in the position to convey those, I guess from now on you will continue to keep performing on the stage?

I : Right. Everytime I am performing in a stage play, I always think "Will I be OK?", or filled with such kind of worries and anxiety. However, now I have took the stance to fight and overcome those things.

Q : If so, is there something you want to convey to your juniors in Nogizaka46 regarding the activities in the theatrical world?

I : If the people performing on the stage are enjoying it, the audience will surely enjoy it as well. Especially, if the performance are continuing for several days straight, it is more likely that you might ended up drowned into thoughts like "Was it really OK? Did I do well?" or "I messed up on that part". However, whenever I go to watch a play, I am not coming with the thoughts to critically observe those stuffs. The most important thing is to have yourself enjoying the process.

Q : One more thing before we end. For Ikuta-san who has been featured in so many works up until now...... I'm sure each one is special in their own ways, but...... which work would you say to be the turning point for you?

I : The big change in me happened when performing in "KIREI ~ Kami-sama to Machiawaseshita Onna~" (Dec 2019 ~ Feb 2020). Before that one, I was really stiff in my performances, and kept on taking deep breath when standing by on the wings if not somewhat meditating a little bit, or else I would not be able to go out.

However, the people who performed together with me that time (for KIREI) seemed like they are living there already, and nothing seemed forced out of their performances. That's why they were able to instantly emit all the heat (as in, emotions when acting). In a good way, being in that stance released me out of my worries.